I had a long night yesterday, I lay on ny bed and thought of today 23rd December. Bittersweet is all I can say. On this day,2 of my beloved were born, my late husband and my first born.
This post is dedicated to both both of you. For the special people that you are.
To you Nicholas, God knows it’s been a tough year without you. Many a times I cry and wish you would come back,but I am comforted that you are now resting. It’s been tough letting you go. Atleast you’re with the angels now,you are with the prince of peace .
Through your death, I have lost but I have also gained unimaginable strength. I have learnt to trust in God despite the darkest of nights and in the most hopeless of situations . I have found new friends and made stronger bonds with those who never left my side. My faith has been tested and almost lost but slowly it has grown too .
Sometimes I walk into a room and those who knew you,who knew us,look at me sadly and feel sorry for me.😕 Such a harsh reality and I hate it at times. But that’s death, many of us don’t know how to handle the effect it leaves behind. There are also those who ask how we survive or, how I still keep it together . And I always tell them I can only say it’s by God’s grace. The day you bid us goodbye my world was crushed and I didn’t know where I would begin.
I was jobless, I was fatigued, I was hopeless. But who is like God, the children and I have not lacked and I pray that we never will. I am constantly reminded that God is the father to orphans and the husband to widows.
To my beloved girl,the fruit of my womb. What an amazing lady you are. You are my world. So bubbly and full of life. You came into my life when I was extremely young and in afew years time, am sure people will be asking if we are sisters. (I look forward to being the coolest mum in town) 😉
You’ve always celebrated this day with daddy and am sad he isn’t here anymore. But I promise you my baby, I will fit into his shoes, I will give you the very best I can. God will speak to you in a language that you can understand as a child and it shall be well my daughter.
I cannot forget to appreciate those who have constantly prayed for me. Those who have taken me for lunch to constantly remind me tha I should smile again. Those who have taken the kids when my schedule was crazy and helped me get by. Those who have constantly checked up on us, constantly called over and over again even when I didn’t want to talk or couldn’t talk. May God bless them all.
The tears haven’t been in vain.
From me with love.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY MY BELOVED